Then came the day before the event, and the committee and I were headed to a club to support a mutual friend performing there that night. And by fate's grace, you were there. You were alone, to support the same friend. It was my first time clubbing, and I felt so socially awkward. I don't drink much, and neither did you. That was the night we first talked. Yelling over the bellowing music to hear each other, I could tell that you were pretty shy, but there was something that drew me to you. Something that made me feel that I had to talk to you. That was the first night I saw you dance, and I was admittedly impressed by your dance skills. When we were going home, and you told me to get home safely. That night you added me on facebook and we talked briefly.
The next day my friends were teasing us regarding the previous night. Your item was the last one and you didn't have to arrive so early, but you did so you could see me before that. You talked to me and we spent the event sitting next to each other backstage, watching the performances. After the event you left but still messaged me. My friends told me to invite you to join us for supper. You were heading to a friend's birthday party and I told them you probably wouldn't ditch him to join a group of people you hardly knew but they told me to ask so I did anyway. And to my astonishment, you came.
Gradually, we exchanged numbers and texted religiously over weeks. When I woke up I would excitedly look at my phone for your good morning messages, and we would constantly text throughout the whole day until we both had to turn in.
I love that. I love that you opened up to me. You, a quiet and passive boy, told me things you never would have told anyone. You confided in me and put yourself in an emotionally vulnerable position because 'I mean(t) that much to you'. I've seen you at your best and worst, from how happy you are when our chocolate lava cake turned out right to how devastated you were when we nearly broke up. Before we were together, I love that you would constantly text me throughout the day even though you don't usually text. But it was ok for you, because I love texting and you would go out of your way even when you were on your NS duty just to make me happy. I love that even though you can't think of questions for my friendship test that you would crack your head over it, think about it in your own time, and ask me questions because I like getting to know people that way. You stepped out of your comfort zone for me, and I love that you care enough to do so.
We were out one day and I casually pointed out the fact that a particular cartoon on a notebook looked like me. It was a very insignificant remark but the next day we met you went all the way down to that same shop to buy it for me because it looked like something I would like. You knew what I liked to eat and specifically brought me to eat those food because you wanted to see me happy. Even when I was angry at you for throwing tantrums, you would calm me down and hug me. You're probably the only guy that will wipe my tears away while I'm scolding you for something minor. You've never gotten angry at me, you always look at things so positively because I overthink things, and someone has to be rational in the relationship. You go out of your way to buy me things I like to see me happy.
I get upset over the simplest of things - when one minor detail in a plan doesn't go my way I get affected and sad over it. You'll always help me look on the brighter side of things, even though I sometimes attribute them as your fault. You'll watch disney cartoons with me because they're my favourite. You'll play english songs instead of korean songs because I like listening to english songs. You've always given in to me and pampered me, showering me with love and affection. You've never lost your temper at me, even when I've said things that broke your heart. You'll meet me after your 13hour shift despite being fatigue. You'll think long and hard, researching for presents to give me because gift-giving is important to me. And even when I wasn't happy with them, you would appease me as much as you can. You would buy me eclipse because I like them and I can't stand not eating mints after meals. You would earnestly listen to all my stories even though sometimes I cut you off when you're talking. You wouldn't even look at another girl's direction, you're that loyal and faithful. You don't drink or club with your friends, even though I do. You never got mad at me for that, and instead constantly text me to make sure I'm alright and in good hands. You would still text me long messages when I'm sleeping, just so I can read them when I wake up and have a smile on my face.
You're making life decisions while thinking of me. You hesitate considering opportunities that involve overseas travel even though I know that what you want to experience, just because I might be in Singapore and you don't want to be apart from me. You listen to me go on about what I learn about, even if they aren't your interests. You help edit and give feedback for my assignments just so I can get a better grade, because you know how much good grades mean to me. Despite being socially awkward at times, you reach out to my siblings who mean a lot to me. You'll initiate taking them out on outings and even pay for them.
You've never burdened me with your problems, and I tell you all of mine. You tolerate with me spending time with my guy friends even though it makes you feel insecure. You genuinely love every part of me, always making decisions in my best interests and making sure I feel happy, even if it's at the expense of your own happiness. When I complain about the staleness in our relationship, instead of getting upset about it, you think of solutions how we might improve. You take a real interest in my life and want to be a significant part of it, as I am a significant part of yours. You trust me with all your heart and soul, and I've hurt you.
When my friends tell me that 'I deserve better', it's wrong because you deserve to be treated so much better than I treat you. My first proper relationship and I've mucked about so much. You treat me like a princess and I didn't return the favour. Before I met you I've never wanted to settle down and commit to one person, but you gave me enough security and love to want to do that. I've never believed in forever until I met you, and it's unfair that even though it might have changed; in a point in time, you meant the whole world to me.
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