These last few days/months, attribute it to mother nature's blessing of PMS or a lack of direction in my life, has been riddled with self serving questions. With that comes an overwhelming amount of insecurity of what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't know if I'm making the right decisions or selecting my priorities correctly. But that's the beauty of life, it's filled with so many options and opportunities that come a'knocking on your front door that you never know if there is an ideal answer. One of my biggest personal obstacle is the inability to dissociate myself from the past. Everything that has happened from 18 September 1994 to this very day molded me to be the person I am today. And while I am still on the journey to figure out who this person is, I live in the past.
Episodes from years ago replay in my head and I can't get over certain paths I've taken but I'm glad I made those choices.
This feeling of insecurity and uncertainty is shrouding me from enjoying what my peers my age are enjoying right now. I like being ahead of my peers and gaining an advantage to what this big scary infamous "real world" is like, but other times I just need to let my hair down and be totally irresponsible.
Be young, impulsive, spend money on shoes, splurge on concerts, meet new people from all over the world, have unprotected sex, take joyrides, go to cafes, skinny dip, club hop, keep a diary of all my adventures like I used to.
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