Lucky

This is my first post of 2015.

Looking back on 2014, most of my posts have been highly negative. I guess this stems from the reason that it takes me a lot of anger and distress to channel all my negative energy into this ball of hot fury that results in me typing furiously on my keyboard, penning down everything that's on my mind. I write my anger out, and sometimes that's what I need to do to get things out of my system.

I don't feel any difference between 2014 and 2015. I mean, physically. The place I'm residing in, my friends, my family are all the same. So technically if all calendars were destroyed and there was no way to keep track of dates, I wouldn't know that we were entering a new year. But we celebrate the new year nonetheless, and I love new year's celebration. It's a symbolic thing, getting together with people you care about and bade the old year goodbye while welcoming the start of a new year. I like to leave behind any shred of regret or bad experience and embrace the warm and fuzzy feeling of hope another year brings. So now comes the metamorphosis.

I'm turning 21 this year. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but rather to society, as this is the age I legally become an adult in the eyes of the modern businessmen. Transitioning from a teenager to an adult, despite me not feeling a physical difference, can bring about psychological and mental changes. Perhaps my module this semester in Development psychology can shine some light on the situation. But I digress. Embarking on a new chapter/stage/phase in my life definitely warrants some reflection on my life thus far, which is the main objective of this post.

"Lucky"

The "" doesn't mean that I'm being sarcastic or anything. It's just what I feel summarise my life so far. While I do admit that living a good life still requires your mental and emotional capabilities, coupled with your ability to function well as a member of society, luck still does play a part. It doesn't insinuate that I've just had everything served to me on a silver platter, nor was I born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I used to think that I was a pretty lucky kid. I got to go where I wanted to, got to make wonderful friends, excel academically and in my CCAs, and life turned out pretty much the way I wanted to. Sometimes I think that it's a higher being or my waigong watching over me, protecting me from the "evils" of the world, or guiding the universe to be in line with a small girl's view.

I am lucky. And I don't mean that in the hoity-toity-I'm-better-than-everybody kind of way. I'm grateful for the people that have been/am still in my life, grateful for the family that always stands by me through my ups and downs, the genuine friends that care for me. And I feel that I haven't necessarily appreciated them as thoroughly as I would have liked to, so this year is my way of saying thank you. Thank you to every single person that has come and left their footprint in my life, as corny as that sounds.

These few years most of my problems have circled around grades or relationships. So now it's time for me to do them justice and give thanks to those parties involved.

I'm lucky. I'm lucky to have dated really wonderful guys. Every guy that I've dated was a genuine, loving and sincere guy and I couldn't be more thankful than that. I've never dated anyone who was a total jerk or player. They were charming in their own way. They displayed real care for others. They pampered me. They treated me like royalty, like how I imagined the Disney princes treated their princesses. They showered me with love and attention, and put my well-being in their highest regard. They were serious about me, in the relationship to make it last. Sometimes I feel that they love me more than I love myself. I'm lucky. I'm lucky to have met really good guys :)




So to everyone that have walked the path with me, thank you for making me lucky :)