There are so many thoughts racing through my head at the moment.
I thought that everything would be dandy after the end of my examinations. Growing up, I hated change and uncertainty. Which is why I am so so grateful that I took precautions to avoid the empty feeling most psyc students reported after they graduated. Empty because without postgraduate, one cannot become a psychologist. Without pursuing a career in psychology, one must then decide which industry to go into. Which might mean that the past 3 years invested in a psyc degree might be moot, although the skills learnt can be extrapolated and applied to everyday life. I was lucky in securing a pretty prestigious internship with a special ed school before my exams. Thus, I was able to comfortably prepare for my examinations with the assurance that I had solid plans after graduating. The 1.5 months between the end of my exams and the start of the internship is to be filled with giving tuitions almost everyday. Weekends were for boyfriend/church. My birthday falls on a Sunday, so no need for the administrative bother of taking leave. Applications for honor and then hopefully flying off to Aussie in Feb 2017. Internship was going to end in mid-Nov, leaving me sufficient time to tie up loose ends and prep for my leave.
Everything is planned until next year. So for that I am at peace. I guess being overly anxious about the future does lead to pretty awesome planning skills, if I do say so myself. I'm still trying to let go of my need for control though. Although what you just read might seem pretty ironic with respects to that previous declaration, I must clarify that what I need to let go of is my need for control, not order. I feel that being overly perfectionistic in my own life might lead to me displacing some of these high expectations on the people around me. Especially those I love. And it makes me sad to do that, because I realised it's not fair to demand high standards from everyone and everything. I used to get irritated when people couldn't meet that expectations, but after studying psychology, I really feel like I grew as a person. Some people might make the claim that psychology is 'commonsense'. Well, psychology is the study of people, and people being people, of course understand people to some extent. There are so much more that psychology offers that is being taken for granted. But that is tangential to the point I'm making. Studying psychology really makes me mindful to viewing things from other's perspective. Empathy and genuineness are two of the most difficult things to teach. Studying psyc has led me to (some extent) learn to calm down, take a step backwards and examine the whole situations by being in someone else's shoes.
It's a pretty irritating skill to have, because I realised I can't remain mad at someone forever because I'll know why they are behaving the way they are. I've been keeping a lot of my deeper feelings to myself because I'm afraid that I might hurt those around me. But I'm working towards changing my attitudes on lots of things in my life, via CBT. The first step towards being a great psychologist is to get rid of one's excess baggage first. And I will get there.
Sunday, May 22, 2016
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
New Chapter
10.05.16
Today marks the day of my final examinations. Like FINAL examinations. For my BSc Psychology degree, anyway. I have unofficially graduated from UOW.
The past 3 years have been filled with such eye opening and inspiring experiences. I can say that I probably learnt more in the past 3 years than I did half my life. When I first entered UOW/SIM I felt really crestfallen as the reason I was in here and not NUS or NTU was because I didn't do well for A levels. Having excelled in my studies since primary school, it was a huge blow to my ego. I made a decision that most people wouldn't have in my case - I decided to go to private university and study what I love, instead of settle for any course in local university. After all, your uni course mostly decides your career path, right?
Studying what I love brought back the motivation I needed to get back on the academic bandwagon I fell off. I worked hard and played hard. I met amazing people and some not-so-amazing ones. I lost people from my life, purged people from my life and accepted people I never thought I would give a place in my world. I learnt so much about taking chances, taking risks and embracing failure. I celebrated success, grew more as a person, and stepped out of my comfort zone. Not everyone gets to have a permanent class in uni for 3 years, but I did. Our small cohort led to us having a cozy and familiar social setting to greet our day with. Even though I did not interact too much with every single member of my class, I truly appreciated their role, no matter small or big, they had to play on my personal development.
Today is the day I leave SIM. I originally thought that I wouldn't be upset graduating, as my course requires I pursue postgraduate for at least another 3 years before I can practise psychology. But it does leave a sting on my heart that my time here is up. 3 beautiful, crazy and magical years. I am truly honoured to have been a part of this experience, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Thank you SIM, for being a significant milestone in my life.
Today marks the day of my final examinations. Like FINAL examinations. For my BSc Psychology degree, anyway. I have unofficially graduated from UOW.
The past 3 years have been filled with such eye opening and inspiring experiences. I can say that I probably learnt more in the past 3 years than I did half my life. When I first entered UOW/SIM I felt really crestfallen as the reason I was in here and not NUS or NTU was because I didn't do well for A levels. Having excelled in my studies since primary school, it was a huge blow to my ego. I made a decision that most people wouldn't have in my case - I decided to go to private university and study what I love, instead of settle for any course in local university. After all, your uni course mostly decides your career path, right?
Studying what I love brought back the motivation I needed to get back on the academic bandwagon I fell off. I worked hard and played hard. I met amazing people and some not-so-amazing ones. I lost people from my life, purged people from my life and accepted people I never thought I would give a place in my world. I learnt so much about taking chances, taking risks and embracing failure. I celebrated success, grew more as a person, and stepped out of my comfort zone. Not everyone gets to have a permanent class in uni for 3 years, but I did. Our small cohort led to us having a cozy and familiar social setting to greet our day with. Even though I did not interact too much with every single member of my class, I truly appreciated their role, no matter small or big, they had to play on my personal development.
Today is the day I leave SIM. I originally thought that I wouldn't be upset graduating, as my course requires I pursue postgraduate for at least another 3 years before I can practise psychology. But it does leave a sting on my heart that my time here is up. 3 beautiful, crazy and magical years. I am truly honoured to have been a part of this experience, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Thank you SIM, for being a significant milestone in my life.
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